I was amused yesterday by one car’s bumper stickers. On the left was an “I Miss Bill” sticker (an obvious reference to Clinton). On the right was a Romney campaign sticker. (He even got his lefts and rights correct!) My deduction was that this driver may be stupid, but not that stupid. =)

You know, you can tell a lot about a person by their car. Not necessarily just by what’s stuck on their car either, although that usually can clue you in. You can know someone’s political party, occupation, alma mater, hobby, number of children and pets, etc, all from sitting at a stop light!

–For instance, a red car means a wild driver, and a white car means a boring driver (I can say that because my car is white. =)

–A dent in the back means they were the victim of a reckless driver, but a dent in the front means they are certainly not a wreck-less driver.

–A small, two-door coupe means they don’t have any kids, or are in denial. A looooong van or extended cab means the driver is very busy, so don’t get in their way. They’re bigger than you anyhow.

–A fancy, shmancy sports car means they’re in debt. A sputtering, smoking car means they are the unfortunate owners of a sputtering, smoking car. Even cars pick up bad habits, too.

–You will inevitably find a mom behind the wheel of a mini van, but not necessarily a soccer mom. Occasionally a large SUV is suitable for a man, but not often.

–When the bass line of loud music makes a car and the ground vibrate, it means this driver has more than junk in their trunk; they have expensive junk in the trunk.

–Some cars can identify whether their driver is choleric, melancholy, phlegmatic, or sanguine. You can also tell if they’re a business man, a student, a redneck, or a granny.

–A broken tail light means they’re ignorant. A broken headlight means they’re lazy.

–And, just so no one will think I’m picking on anyone (because I’m not), a personalized license plate, I’ve been told, means the driver is vain. Surely they don’t mean mwa? =)

6 thoughts on “Reading Through the Lines

  1. Well, what would you say about me?? I have a red van with an AWANA bumper sticker in the middle? I also got a really good deal on the van from a friend at church. :D

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